Running choices

A running friend made a comment by email today that was flattering and a very pleasant surprise.  And even if it was just something that any polite person would have said (which some might claim), I still think it was a very nice thing to say.  What did my friend say? After asking if I would be training with Charm City Run this summer and seeing my answer ("no"), my friend said it just wouldn't be the same without me.

That got me thinking?  Am I the same without the Charm City Run training group?  That is an interesting question.  And even beyond the fact that I am not fundraising through distance running this summer, I really am not the same without Charm City Run. It is worth thinking about the choices.

I have found a subset of the old Charm City Run training group with whom I have been running on Saturdays for a while.  Most Saturdays it is a group of four of us--sometimes three and occasionally two.  And last Saturday I ran alone--it is actually a nice thing to do every once in a while.  If we were with the Charm City Run group we would be near (but not necessarily always in) the lead.  I like the fact that the group with whom I run most often now meets at 6 AM rather than 7 AM.  But some weeks it might be nice to be able to choose to run a different pace.  I didn't do that all that often when I ran with Charm City Run for three training seasons, but it was nice to have the option. Instead I have made a choice to focus entirely on making sure that I am challenged to go fast and run hard each week.  Pros and cons to each choice.  But by not signing up for Charm City Run this summer, I have made one particular choice.

As for track workouts, we had an incredible eleven people for our 5:30 workout on a high school track near the Johns Hopkins Hospital this morning.  It is nice as we have a partial view of the buildings in my tattoo.  Again, I have made a choice to train with a group that is forever challenging and in many different ways on different days.  Sometimes it is one other runner.  Sometimes it is the workout.  We are always running really hard.  Once agin, if I ever let up I'll be trailing way behind.  I am flattered that so many people come to run with me.  We are a group that mostly gets down to business and runs our hard workouts.  Again, my experience would be something different if I were to run in the evenings with Charm City Run.  I would not, for example, have every night at home with as much of my family as is home every night.  But if I were to return to running with Charm City Run at some point, I'd have more choices about how hard to run and a wider variety of people to chat with.

There is nothing wrong with the choices I have made for this summer.  They are in contrast to what I have done the past two summers during which I focused on the group as much as on myself.  The group was large.  The group was diverse.

The choices I have made are the right choices for right now.  Still a bit of a group focus, but the group is smaller.  The group is more concentrated. And the group is about focused training to make us all better because we are all seeking to be "near the top" rather than just to finish.  It is more than just finishing.  Even more than just improving. It is about being as close to the top as we can manage. Again, right thing for right now.

But after I finish with Boston next spring and I look ahead to my next year of running, I may rethink what meets my needs. One of the beauties of actually thinking about this is that I can make a conscious (or to use the last entry's term, willful) choice about what is best at a particular point in time.

Leading a conscious life is a great way to lead life.

Willful Choice

At mass at 9:30 at St Pius X in Towson today, we got to hear a homily from Fr. Ray Chase--once he got his microphone turned on for the homily.  Fr. Ray always gives nice concise homilies.  Today we were talking about things related to the celebration of the birth of John the Baptist.  One thing he shared with the congregation was what he called the most frustrating part of being a priest.  I'll paraphrase: that no matter how much he prayed with us, consecrated the Eucharist before us, or preached homilies to us, he couldn't make us do anything.  No matter how much he knows what might be right from the point of view of following the path of what God would want, it is ultimately up to each one of us to take a willful action to make things happen.

I can see where this would be frustrating.  We are often called upon to ask "What would Jesus do?"  Well, I believe that most clergy (I won't say all given the continuing news about some small fraction of clergy in the Catholic Church) have a better idea of what Jesus would do than the rest of us.  They want to offer what they know.  They have spent a long time thinking about things.  They want to help.

It is not so different from public health experts.  They know more about many things for our health than the average person.  They have spent a long time thinking about things.  They want to help.

So, I can relate to what he is saying when I think about it professionally.

I can also relate personally and I think that this is pushing me one step closer to changing the blog to "Connecting the Dots--Nourishing the Soul".  If we think about a "dot to dot" it may just seem like a random series of dots if you look at the dots before connecting them.  No matter how much you stare at it.  If I think back to string art I did as a child (dating myself there, perhaps...) I think of the pattern of nails in the board looking somewhat random before the string was wrapped to make it a coherent pattern.  A meaningful pattern.  A pretty pattern.

In both the case of the dot to dot and the string art--it takes a conscious and willful effort.  A choice.  A choice to make the effort rather than simply to stare and wonder.

My tattoo is similar.  As a few people in church who had not seen it before this morning asked me about it, I gave the medium to long answer.  My sixteen year old asked me how many times I had explained it.  The answer is--a lot.  But now I have a short answer--a modern reinterpretation of the art around St. Sebastian, the parton saint of athletes.  And I have a much longer answer that goes into detail about the symbolism.  If people want to hear (and I want to share) the deeper meaning that requires a conscious effort on two people's parts.

As I think about whether I would ever get another tattoo, I think "only if I find a story as compelling that I want to tell."  In other words, I don't see any small tattoos. If I am going to get any they will be big and bold like the first and tell a whole story.  About what?  Maybe my music or my cooking or my writing or my teaching.  There are many other themes.  I could work in other patron saints or my confirmation name.  Who knows?  The one thing I do know is that it will be a long thought out willful choice.

Willful choices guided by God have the potential to take me far in my life.  I try to live up to what I am taught by priests like Fr Ray.  It's not always easy.  

Renaming

I've been pondering renaming the blog.  When I started my blog (other than a health economics blog for my teaching), I called it physical and spiritual running. That was the most appropriate title as I was trying to figure out what running meant and what a death from cancer meant.  Running had begun to evolve for me from just a personal physical activity to something much more social and much deeper.

Then, after my first marathon I closed the book on that first topic and then called the blog what it is now and has been for a year and a half--Physical and Spiritual Well-Being.  The blog is about all types of well being and I talk about my running as well as other things that I ponder.

I'm now thinking of calling it "Connecting the Dots and Nourishing the Soul".  Why?  Well, everything that I write nourishes my soul.  Maybe it helps others to nourish their souls. It gets a reasonable number of hits.  And my sixteen year old pointed out that there is a sight that picks up my feed (http://sundayschoolprimer.com/tag/kevin-frick/).  And everything I write is part of how I process things.  How I work with things.  How I try to grasp things in my life.  Connecting the dots?  Well, just look at how much my writing cuts across different areas.  Even the tattoo I got connects different themes.  When I write about it I connect the themes.  I connect my running and bible verses.  I connect cooking. I connect my kids.  I connect my life.  Connecting the dots in the right order takes a seemingly random array of spots and turns it into something that is a coherent whole.  So, I am trying to combine the dots in my life in the right order to find a coherent whole to nourish my soul.

I'll ponder a bit more before changing.  If it works. I'll probably make the change over the July 4 holiday.  It is a pretty cool concept but I want to ponder it a bit more first.

Turning Myself Over

When I got my tattoo--I let go of all control, relaxed my body, and turned myself over to the tattoo artist because I wanted the best outcome.

When I get a therapeutic massage, I let go of all control, relax my body, and turn myself over to the massage therapist.  I want to get the most out of the massage and let the therapist do what she needs to do.

When I give blood, I let go of all control, relax my arm, and turn myself over to the phlebotomist.  I want to make the experience as efficient and as uneventful as possible.

When I go to the dentist, I turn my mouth over to the hygienist or dentist.  I mostly just want to be done, but I know that cooperating helps to minimize the time required.

Why are all these examples, I am turning myself over to optimize the outcome.  What does God want me to do?  As far as I can tell--turn my whole self (body, arm, bood, teeth, etc.) over to God.

Why?  To follow in His ways and achieve the best outcome.

Why is that so hard?  While I know that I could not replace the tattoo artist, the massage therapist, the phlebotomist; and the dentist/hygienist.  Each of them is dealing with a physical part of my body for a relatively short time.

When I am dealing with handing my being over to God, it is my whole self.  it is a mystery to whom I am turning myself over.  And, when all is said and done, while I know I don't have the skills of any of the four types of individuals, I may think that my judgment can replace Gods.  God doesn't undertand people today.  God doesn't have to deal with the repercussions if things get ugly and I'm still trusting in God.  It is not too hard to think that we have a better judgment than God does.

Moving forward, I only see myself trying to make sure that I turn myself over to God or God's representatives here on earth in the same way that I turn myself over to certain service providers.  The goal will be to maximize the positive experiences in my life.  I simply have to trust that good will come when I walk in the ways of the Lord.  

John 20:4-7 from 5K and Life Numbers

On Sunday, I ran the 5K.  The numbers for me and my three sons stretched from 204 to 207.  My time was 20:56 (so, the 20 and the two numbers in between the 4 and 7).  When my mother read some of the biographical information that she could find on St Sebastian (related to my tattoo) she found that his feast day is January 20.  Again, the number 20.  So, while walking my dog this evening around 9, I used my iPhone to search for a verse that might be relevant to my life right now and I came up with John 20:4-7.  From the New American Bible Revised Edition:

"They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first; he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in. When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there,and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place."

Let's see.  A direct mention of my confirmation name in verse 20:4 (I was number 204).  A direct mention of running in verse 20:4.  I think this was meant to be pondered.  And certainly beyond the two interesting but otherwise inconsequential coincidences of chapter 20 verse 4.

Why did this capture my attention?  Well, I have written about a verse similar to this before as it is an Easter verse.  However, right now here is what it makes me think of.  First, mystery.  While I am 42, I still find life a mystery.  I still find my efforts to get my commitments in life under control a mystery that I have difficult solving.  And I know that I should place my trust in God--as John did more quickly in the verses that followed Peter's initial discovery.

Second, this is about the Resurrection of Jesus.  It led to a second chance for humanity.  We all need second chances sometimes.  (And third and fourth...)  As a professional, I am trying to reduce the number of times I need to ask for second chances after committing to too many things.  But it is nice to know that we have them.  We don't always get them with colleagues.  We don't always get them with those we love or those with whom we are friends.  But God gave humanity a second chance at life in God's presence forever that we can always access if we are truly contrite about transgressions and we make every effort to walk in the way of the Lord.

So, this set of verses which makes me think of mysteries and second chances seems just about right for pondering as I continue to think about the meaning of the many choices I have made in my life.  And the improvements I continue to hope to make so that I can continue in my success and have fewer disappointments along the way--no matter how much those disappointments can teach important lessons. 

Great Running Weekend and Kids Growing up

So, this weekend I ran the same sequence I did last Father's Day weekend--a 10 mile race on Saturday and a 5K race on Sunday.  Last year I ran 1:13:09 and 21:22 placing second in my age group in the 5K.  This year I ran 1:11:30 and 20:56.  On person I run with sometimes thought I would be a bit faster than that in the 5K--maybe on fresh legs.  I took first in my age group this year.  And, I'd consider the weekend an incredible success overall even if I still have not hit the 7 minute mile average I hope to for the 10 mile race or broken 20 minutes in a 5K yet. Was it all improvement or was some due to nicer weather and friendlier courses?  I'll never know. I'll just enjoy

But I didn't just enjoy my own experience.  I enjoyed watching my kids come home yesterday from their garden club with vegetables and my 12 year old helping me with turnips au gratin yesterday.

I enjoyed seeing both the 7 year old and 12 year old run their best 5K times when running alone today.  For my 7 year old this was only his second and he improved by about 7 minutes over his first.  This time, his 16 year old brother was supposed to stay with him but he ran 5 minutes ahead of his brother who walked most of the distance.  The 12 year old broken 30 minutes when not running with me for the first time ever.  Great for them.

And the take home quote from my 7 year old this weekend as we heard that 1970's tune "Rock the Boat" on the radio--"Why would anyone want to do that?  You'd get sea sick.  Maybe they mean a rock band."

The younger two were encouraged by my friend at the race to think of when they might beat me.  I look forward to the day.  My 7 year old passed Denise Koch from channel 13 today within the last quarter mile.  She is the local TV newsperson/celebrity who supports the 5K race each year.  And both may beat their pediatrician some day.  None will necessarily beat me for a while.  And neither will necessarily be just like me. That is fine.

What I do hope for both of them (and my 16 year old) is that they come into their own.  Today (and this weekend in general) was a time to see that better than I had for a while.  It is a wonderful thing.   

Tattoo as Story Telling

So the other day I compared the way I try to manage my body and my heartbeat during the tattoo process and during a therapeutic massage.

Today, I will comare tattoos to something else--story telling.  When I was running with a resident member of Team Christopher's Place Back on My Feet on Sunday, we were talking about tattoos.  I described the story behind my tattoo.  The story is now with me all the time.  A constant reminder of the themes that were important.  And, as a talking point, the way to share those points with others.

My friend mentioned that the story was a good one.  And that each tattoo is there for a reason.  Something we needed to remember.  Something we needed to be reminded of.  Some big event in our lives.  He had a rather philosophical view of tattoos and I was quite impressed.

So as people now ask me whether I think I will ever get another--I answer--first, when I have enough money, and second when I have another story that is so important for me to tell.