Today, for the first time in a while, I felt the joy of just playing music at church. It feel so freeing it was amazing.
What do I mean by this? Well, in the five (?) years that the worship band at my church has been playing, I was the regular bass payer for all but the last year and a half. I was overwhelmed in a number of ways just before I got my final promotion early in 2010, and decided to cut back on activities for a while. Being the regular bass player was one of the things I cut back on.
For a while, I didn't do anything with the group--other than make sure that my son, the keyboard player, showed up. Then, slowly, I realized how much I missed playing music.
I tried joining an adult pick-up band at the music store where my son takes piano. That worked for a few months and then I realized I couldn't make a commitment to do that every week.
I have occasionally played bluegrass with a few other faculty. That is fun when we do it, but it does not occur often enough to really satisfy my music interests.
Then, I got asked to play as the substitute bass player on occasion. And, I run the sound board on occasion. For a while, it was enough to satisfy my desire to play. But it wasn't often enough to get me to be very comfortable with playing again.
Recently, I have substituted frequently. Today, I had a great time. I felt like I have not felt in more than a year of playing. I felt at ease. I felt like I knew what I was doing (at least as well as I ever did). I didn't have to look at the music all the time. I just knew what to do.
I have not been asked to sing so much since coming back as a substitute, so I have been able to focus on just playing the bass, and that also helps me to feel better about playing bass. However, the other thing that I did today was to sing--without a microphone. It was okay. It didn't matter whether any of the other members of the worship band or anyone else in the congregation could hear me. My singing and playing worked together to give glory to God. And, when I am free to do that, in any aspect of my life, all the rest tends to work itself out.