Living the Word

Short entry tonight--I think.  At mass today, our priest commented that many Catholics in America listen to the word at mass and process it a bit but don't get excited about it and don't necessarily work that hard to live it.  He made reference to the reading about the stone that the builders rejected is now the cornerstone.  Having Jesus as the cornerstone of our lives--with the opportunity for resurrection--should be something exciting.  It is a wonderful thing that should move us.

While I won't judge my fellow Catholics, I do want to comment on one thing.  My blog is my way of getting excited about my faith and living the word.  My blog brings me to Word in the Bible in ways that nothing else in my life has.  My desire to put together my fitness, my religion, my service, and my community has been a blessing beyond anything I ever could have imagined.

We can debate whether I send too much time on it.  Some may say so.  But I read on someone's Facebook page just today--those things we really want to do we will find time for.  Those we really don't--we'll find excuses for.  I think my actions show me the importance I have found in finding ways to link to my faith that make it real.  That make is something that is alive for me.  That make it something I live with and grow with and hope to grow even more with over time.   

Why Do I Run?--The Seven C's

It is not often that I ask myself this question anymore.  Everyone around me knows me as a "runner"--whatever exactly that means.  But this morning, I was participating in a neat 5K race.  It was called Operation Oliver.  It focused on a neighborhood not far from where I work that is being revitalized with help from a number of organizations include one called the 6th Branch--military veterans performing service activities.  The local leader of the project carried an American flag (a large one like you'd hang outside your home) on a pole the whole race and ran not too far behind me.

The race was not the best organized.  No port-a-potties at the start or finish.  Took them a long time to figure out who got awards.  Not the best marked course.  And it was the last part that led me to ask that question--why do I run.

The race was so poorly marked and there may have been miscommunication among people who ran the race that some people ran 2.5 miles and others ran just over 3.  It was almost certainly short of 3.1 unless my watch erred the opposite direction as it does in every other race.  If it was 3.1, my 19:33 would be my first sub-20 time since high school.  As it was, my 19:33 projects out to about a 20:15 which would still be my personal best since high school.  That 20 minute 10K remains elusive.

But, I was challenged to answer "why do I run?" when I thought about what the mis-direction on the course would do to my placing.  Incidentally, I was first in my age group.  That's a nice feeling.  And the fact that I was even worried about it points to one of the reasons I run--I'm still competitive.  I once posted on Facebook "why do I still get butterflies before a race if it's all for fun?"  A friend from high school asked, "Are you sure it's just for fun?"  Today's race clearly showed me the answer is no.

Interestingly, there was a guy from the Back on My Feet team with which I run whom I did not expect to pass but did.  He indicated his frustration with the fact that he lost a place or two because of the misdirection.  Again, someone who is competitive.

My previous entry about Back on My Feet shows that it is not just about competition though.  It is also about community and caring.  A healthy mix of community, caring, and competition is not a bad thing.

And there are other things. I met new people today.  People talking as it got chilly after the race.  The race was run with the sun out.  Then the clouds came and it got cold.  But we talked for a long time about running, racing, and learning.  It was all good.

I saw people as they crossed the finish line.  Some struggled. Some were overjoyed.  Some who had obviously run most of the race slowly had it left in them to sprint as they could see the finish.  The joy and exhilaration that I saw on people's faces was amazing.

And, the sense of camaraderie.  I suppose that may be part of community.  But it is definitely cool to get to see others succeed.  I was the last one from team Christopher's place there today and I brought home medals for six other runners on my team.  I'll give them out on Monday.  It was just incredible.  I was particularly impressed by one woman whose running I knew was strong, but it became extra clear to me a couple weeks back when we did timed miles.  She ran a 6:12.  Few guys on the team were running that pace.  She hung with me and was the second female overall.  It is just so cool to be able to share success (and struggles--like trying to understand where the course actually went and dealing with the chill after the race) as part of being a team.

So, why do I run?  Competition, community, caring, and camaraderie.  To stay with a C theme, I could probably add compassion.  Given the sense of accomplishment that comes from finishing a race I could add "completion".  And, finally, to complete the seven C's, I'd say "consecration".  A dedication to something.  It does not have to be religious.  It does have to be a higher purpose.  I believe there is a higher purpose to running.  And I believe that for me in particular that purpose is a key aspect of why I'm out there.  

Back on My Feet--More than Just a Running Service--An Approach to Life

Yesterday, I happened to be staying overnight in Washington DC for a two day conference.  Since I know that Back on My Feet groups everywhere run Monday/Wednesday/Friday during the week, on Thursday, I emailed a staff member of Back on My Feet--Baltimore, who put me in touch with a staff member from Back on My Feet--Washindton DC, who put me in touch with two team leaders, and less than 24 hours later I was leaving my hotel to jog for a circle up with Team La Casa at 5:45 AM in a part of Washington DC I'd never seen before.  I enjoyed running 2 miles with the group, meeting a lot of new people, and adding a few miles as a social activity rather than just a run as part of my 6.5 mile total yesterday morning.  But running with Back on My Feet in a different city while away for work is not just about finding a few people to run with for a social activity.

Back on My Feet has established a process by which its team get togethers proceed.  I felt immediately at ease meeting and greeting with hugs as I arrived.  The team in DC circled up and had announcements in a way that seemed familiar.  Their approach to learning everyone's name was a bit different than my team's in Baltimore but that is okay.  Each person said their name just once and answered a question.  Yesterday's was favorite cupcake flavor--red velvet in my case.  Then the run with lots of chatting and a circle at the end that ended with the cheer "Back on My Feet--Keep coming back".

In the starting circe, the team leader for La Casa mentioned the degree to which Back on My Feet provides community so that they could have the opportunity to welcome a Baltimore teammate who happened to be in town for the day.  One could also refer to as a just plain "company" rather than community but it is definitely something more.  I also heard it referred to as fellowship or "extended family" in a figurative way.  The community feeling is always present.  And being referred to as a teammate who just happened to be from Baltimore was a reminder that other than the fact that some of those who run with Back on My Feet are in some type of recovery while others come from the community to run with them, once we are in circle we are all just teammates.  Everyone is equal.  Everyone cares about each other.

The organization is not religious.  We do recite a version of the Serenity Prayer at least once for each run.  Team La Casa actually recited it at the start and finish.  But that is a general prayer for serenity, courage, and wisdom to a higher power as it is treated within the organization.  Despite the fact that the organization is not explicitly "of any faith" the principles of community, care for each other, and equality among members reminded me of something from the Bible and one interpretation of the success of early Christianity.  On the first, the Bible verses I am thinking of are Matthew22:36-40 from the New American Bible Revised Edition:

36 “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?”

37 He said to him, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.

38 This is the greatest and the first commandment.

39 The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

40 The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”

It is verse 39 which is most striking and makes me think of the approach to others promoted by Back on My Feet.

For the early Christian community, there was a Frontline program on PBS where I saw at least one historian's interpretation.  You can read the complete story here.   Here is the paragraph I find most moving:

"Now the Christian community, as we have it particularly in the letters of Paul, begins with a formula that is a baptismal formula, which says in Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, neither male nor female, neither slave nor free. This is a sociological formula that defines a new community. Here is a community that invites you, which makes you an equal with all other members of that community. Which does not give you any disadvantages. On the contrary, it gives even the lowliest slave personal dignity and status. Moreover, the commandment of love is decisive. That is, the care for each other becomes very important. People are taken out of an isolation."
Back on My Feet is still a young organization guided by a powerful idea. If the idea and the organization continue to be nurtured so that I feel the sense of community at every run with Team Christopher's Place, at every local race the entire Baltimore BoMF family runs, and every time when I try to get together with local groups when I travel, and if the organizational leadership (paid and volunteer) does their best to make sure that everyone shares that sense of community, I believe the organization will go far.

Luke 19:11-27

This verse was purely based on the inspiration of an idea that crossed my mind after the race.  I didn't have anything in this race that was associated with 19:11 or the 27 either.  So, let me share my thinking.

At some point in my blogging, I know I have blogged about the parable of the talents, although I am hard pressed to find it.  The key is that I have spent time thinking about the consequences of not using my God given talents and the poor outcomes that will follow.

What I spent time thinking about last Saturday after the 10K was another parable.  The parable of the talents as told by Matthew is one in which three servants are given different amounts.  Two double what they have and are rewarded.  One does nothing with what he is given and is punished.

In Luke's version (19:11-27) it is a bit more complicated.  In Luke's version three men are each given one gold coin.  One turns it into 10 and is given a great reward.  One turns it into 5 and is given a moderate reward.  And the third does nothing with his and is punished.

So, in each case, the one who did nothing is punished and the one with the biggest return is rewarded.  What is interesting is a comparison of the guys in the middle in the two cases.  In Matthew's story the guy in the middle starts with less resources.  In Luke's story the guy in the middle is presumed not to have worked as hard.

I thought I might have better than a seven minute mile average pace in me.  Am I losing sleep over the fact that I "only" managed to run a seven minute average pace and not something faster?  No.  There were a lot of variables.  My fastest one mile run in over two decades the day before.  The warmth.  The stress of a very busy day.  And the fact that I had run 2.9 miles before the race.  Each could have contributed.

However, as I was running back to the symphony hall after the race and passing by a student of mine, I did think, could I have done more?  Did I not set my sights high enough?  Did I set an achievable goal at the cost of not doing even better if I had set a goal that would have made me strive just a little more even if I had not made it?  And, in the end, what is better?  To set an achievable goal and make it or to set an aspirational goal and fail.  Setting goals that are just good enough is probably not what life should be about  Setting goals to be the best I can possibly be--the aspirational goals that I have to keep working toward, should be what I focus on.  I should aim to be the man who returned 10 golden coins--even if I fall short and perhaps only come back with a few, rather than being the guy who makes 5 golden coins without having to try very hard.   

3 Pictures and their Symbolism

Today, I share three pictures from Charm City Run's Sole of the City 10K.  And I will point out what I think are the most important symbols in each.  First, the picture from before the race.  This is a picture of me speaking with a fellow Back on My Feet runner who was also a fellow trainee with the Charm City Run training group with which I trained last summer.  Why is this important?  One word: social. Running is not just about exercise.  It is also a social activity.  And this has made it so much more than it ever was since I was in college.

The second picture is of my finishing the race.  This picture shows my right foot flailing out.  This is a habit I have had since I was in high school.  You can ask any of my friends who ran high school track and cross country with me.  They will confirm that I have been doing this since the 1980's.  What I find fascinating about this is that it is a bad habit that I have not been able to break in more than a quarter century.  In a week in which I have celebrated running my fastest mile run and half mile run since Ronald Reagan was president of the United States, I also see that other things that I would like to change since then have not changed.  And I ponder--are there things other than my less than perfect running form that have not changed since my adolescence?  I can say that, unfortunately, my tendency to dabble, to take on too many things, and to have difficulty seeing any of them through to a conclusion is a habit that began long ago and continues to this day.  So, in the same way that I keep trying to work on my running form, I also keep trying to get the rest of my life in order.  While I am usually much more focused on the end result than on the process of getting there, the idea of life improvement is one thing that I have to take as a step by step process--one step at a time.  Always striving for the best end result but mostly focused on the fact that I am trying to make myself a better person--use all the gifts God gave me--every day.

The final picture is one that I think is the best picture of me running (other than a picture with my son a year or two ago) that has been taken in a long, long time.  This picture was actually taken just before the picture that I posted above, as I was coming off Fort Ave and turning toward the finish line.  This ia a wonderful picture.  It shows me almost done something.  A symbol of the fact that I leave a lot of projects almost done.  But it also is a symbol of my completing something.  Because I know that I was less than 50 yards from finishing.  The picture shows me running strong--pumping my arms and in a good stride.  That is the symbol of the result of six years of work.  The picture shows me in my sunglasses.  That is one of the biggest improvements since my high school running days.  The freedom from glasses on a daily basis.  In the background you see the Baltimore row homes.  A sign of the city in which I love.  A sign of the city I love.  A sign of the city in which I have truly grown up.  And finally, you see the American flag off in the upper right hand corner.  The importance of living in the United States of America is something I cannot overemphasize.  The country that provides me with near limitless opportunity.  The country that allowed a high school geek to believe that he could be something more and could make it come true.  The country that gives me the freedom of choice to be what I want to be.  To be who I want to be.  To excel.  To slack.  To speak up. To hold back.  To express myself.  To hang with whomever I want.  To try new things.  To encourage my sons to try new paths.  There was a wonderful a-cappella group that sang the Star Spangled Banner before the race.  That was a moving experience and the harmony was wonderful.  But I like to think of American the Beautiful.  "America, America, God shed his grace on thee/And crown thy good/With brotherhood/From sea to shining sea."  Runners have brotherhood.  People can have brotherhood.  A common purpose.  Each seeking his own success to make the world a better place in which we can all be successful and all share in the fruits of the successes we share and build upon.  

Feed My Sheep: More Reflections on John 21:17

So last night I began my post 10K run reflections with thoughts on John 21:17.   The chapter and verse that when written out together equal the time I had at the half way mark by my watch.  The verse I thought of while making crepes for scrippelle yesterday afternoon.   The verse that I have more to say about.

First, as I have mentioned in my blog before, Peter was my confirmation name.  So, who is Jesus speaking with in this verse?  Well, most directly, Peter.  I had chosen Peter in a sort of arrogant thought that I could be a rock.  That my belief and my spirituality were strong.  My belief has been tested.  My belief has been brought to the brink on more than one occasion.  There are times that I would say that my faith is not strong at all.  However, if I have only a small amount of belief and I can share that with others, then I may help to "feed God's sheep".  Feeding their need for spiritual reflection through my writing.  Feeding people's needs for sustenance through my family's donations.  Feeding a need for physical health through "service running" with Back on My Feet.  Perhaps this is an originally unseen part of the destiny of my confirmation name.  While I believe very much in free will, I also believe that God plays an active role in guiding us if we ask for it.  And that there are times when the answers come--but much, much later.  Perhaps this is all coincidence.  Perhaps there is no such thing as coincidence.

Second, the story has a part that precedes Jesus speaking directly to Peter.  John 21 in general is a story of the risen Jesus (great for Easter reflection) revealing himself to his disciples.  The first 8 verses of the chapter are the story of Peter and other disciples having bad luck fishing and then having much better fortune once Jesus arrives.  Verses 9-14 are about them eating breakfast with Jesus.  The fact that the verse of such importance to me (21:17) is preceded closely by a story of food can be taken two ways.  Obviously in the context of the flow of the Bible, Jesus then in verses 15-17 asks Peter to feed his lambs, tend his sheep, and feed his sheep.  The symbolism of having a meal together at which Jesus provided for his disciples before he asked Peter to feed his lambs and his sheep if not lost on me.  In my case, it is neat, too, because of the link to my own passion for cooking and feeding people.

Finally, getting back to what my friend from college wrote to me.  There are so many ways in which people hunger.  People hunger physically.  People hunger for challenges mentally.  People hunger through spiritual challenges.  People hunger for recognition and validation.  People hunger for a sense that they matter.

One thing I have always hungered for is recognition for something other than being good at academics.  A wise friend from my high school days once suggested I just be happy for being recognized for what I am really good at.  Good point.  This week, I was lucky enough to be quoted in Science Times Global Update in the New York Times.   But this week, I was also blessed to be recognized as a featured runner (as I mentioned yesterday) and as the team member of the month among the community volunteers for Back on My Feet Christopher's Place Team.  What's more, a student called me a pretty cool professor when I talked about the tattoo I'll be getting and my seven year old called me the best Dad.

Why do I need this validation?  Why can't it just be enough to know that I am following God's will, since that is what it is supposed to all be about?  Honestly, I don't know.  It is something with which I continue to grapple--and probably will forever.

I just hope that I can continue to live up to the accolades I receive.  Sometimes I think I do.  Not that that is anything special.  That is what we are all here for and what we are all supposed to do.  Being what I was intended to be and helping others is just following law set down by Jesus--love your neighbor as you love yourself.  So, I don't deserve a gold star for just playing by the rules.  And I also know there are times times I know I fall woefully short.  I'm not always the best dad.  I'm not always a great teammate.  My running attitude is not always exemplary.  And sometimes I am a lousy colleague and not such a great mentor.

I just hope that on net the positive outweighs the negative so that I can stand tall but with humility,  be of service to others who need me, and be obedient to God in whose image I was made.  I want to continue to focus my personal development on being all that God has intended for me rather than simply what I think I should be.  Or better yet--to make those last two one and the same.  

My Half Way Time in a 10K--21:17 and the Gospel of John

I never thought that I'd have enough material from running a single 10K race to blog about for the next two weeks, but I think I do.  That should be interesting.

Each entry will most likely be a little shorter than what I wrote during the Lenten season, but I am sure it will continue to be a positive experience for me, and I hope that it will be a positive experience for those who take the time to read what I write.

The 10K was called the Sole of the City.  Cool in some ways that it would be called "sole". Obviously that is a reference to the running shoes sold by Charm City Run, my favorite running store.  The day before the race, one of the few 10K runs in Baltimore City proper, I was honored to be featured as the runner highlight by the store (see the link here).   The picture in the feature was taken last November.  If I had it to do over again, I'd put in the picture that someone from the store took at the end of the race yesterday.  It is a much better picture that you can see here.  I say that the name of the run was ironic as I have focused so much on spiritual and physical well being--the well being of my body and soul.  And this 10K was obviously both a good use of my soles and goof for my soul.

I don't usually write about finding a relationship between my times at the half way point in the race and some connection to the Bible, but I will tonight.  First, let me point out, I don't know where the exact "official" half way point was.  But when I took a data dump from my GPS watch today, I looked at the 5K time--sure enough it was 21:17 (actually it was 21:18 at 5003 meters, so by extrapolation with the next earlier reading from 21:13 at 4985 meters).  While I was making dinner tonight, I had been thinking about different Bible verses and relating them to my writing and the thought of "Feed my sheep" came to me.  It is appropriate for the Easter season.  Sure enough, where do you find that?  John 21:17.

Why do I find this interesting?  And what will I spend writing about for the next two weeks (or more)?  Well, I have recently been emailing with a friend.  She reads this blog and can comment if she wants to be named.  For right now, it suffices to say that I have known her since my days as an undergrad.  I had respect for her writing, ideas, and leadership back then.  We went years without being in touch.  We are back in touch now thanks to Facebook.  She has read some of my blog materials and seen many of my pictures of food on Facebook and encouraged me to write a book.  I think that the ideas around my writing and around my cooking and my running all come back to the end of the verse in John 21:17--"Feed my sheep."

Why?  It would be a great title for a book of reflections.  Especially if many of those reflections centered around Bible verses and food.  There can be so many different meanings to the phrase "Feed my sheep."

Am I particularly qualified to feed God's sheep?  I don't really think that I have anything on the next person when all is said and done.  I am not more holy.  I have not spent that much more time studying religion.  I am not smarter.  I don't have more common sense.  I just like to think.  I like to write.  And I like to try to make sense of life.  If my journey and quest to explain life helps to "feed" others' needs for spiritual guidance, then so be it.  I am glad that others can share.

This is one of the less organized entries I have written in a while.  It is, right now, mostly just stream of consciousness.  I think that the key will be for me to pull ideas into a coherent format to share them, to begin to shape the idea for a book, and to express all the insight I gained from one race.

Life is good.  God is great.  And there is always so much to learn.