The Center of My Life

St. Sebastian-themed Tie

The tie to the left was my one art project this year at the family resort at which we were on vacation.  It is multi-colored--I hardly realized there were nine different and mostly pastel colors) of Sharpie and I didn't even use them all.  In the middle you find two arrows and a coarse drawing of an open book.  The open book was intended to represent the Bible.  I had not intended it, but my sister said there was a bit of a snakeskin look to the tie.

As I enter the new year, I think about what the tie represents.  We are not insects, but if we think of the body as consisting of the head, the torso, and the legs the tie is worn down the center of the central part of the body.  Thus, I look for symbols of how what it represents as the center of my life.  And most of what it brings to me are things that relate to my end of year blog that reflected on 2012 and looked ahead to 2013.

First, it shows creativity.  Readers may have their own opinions as to whether it shows much talent, but my wife (who was making a scarf while I made my tie in the class last week) thought it showed creativity that she does not often see in me.  That is not to say that I have no creativity.  Just that it does not often come out through drawing as opposed to words, music, or even my teaching.  I am planning a new class for 2013 and trying to revise several others.  And who knows what other things I will be called on to be creative for in 2013 on the job.  Each year brings new and interesting challenges.  I look forward to continue to using my creativity and hope that it can remain central to my life.

The Bible is at the center of what will show when I wear the tie.  My spirituality is central to my life.  Thinking about what maters an why.  For me, that is manifested through my relationship with church.  Being part of the worship band.  Teaching Sunday school.  Helping out with the running of Sunday school.  Being a part of the St. Pius X community.  But thinking about what matters and why is not just about church.  (And not about church for everyone else.)  Spirituality can be about running.  Spirituality can be about not wasting any talent as a talent is as important a resource in the world as oil or water or wheat or gold.  Spirituality in its many forms is central to my life.

The Bible and the two arrows are both reminders of themes from St. Sebastian's life.  I have written a great deal about what I think of St. Sebastian and why over the past year in the process leading to the completion of my tattoo.  This Saturday, I will take the final step in a touch up visit with the artist.  St. Sebastian is part of my spirituality.  St. Sebastian is part of a reminder to speak out.  St. Sebastian is part of a a reminder to get back up again and keep trying. St. Sebastian is also an important reminder of just how much we rely on others and the hope and help they bring to our lives.  He would not have been able to continue after being shot by archers if it were not for the help of another.  The arrows themselves represent challenges.  There are many challenges in life--and there will continue to be many more.  All of them have to be faced an either overcome or set aside to the degree possible. The facing and overcoming relate to St. Sebastian.  The setting aside to the degree possible comes back to part of the Serenity Prayer--accepting what I cannot change.

The multiple colors coud be one of two things.  In the spirit of St. Sebastian they could represent the heterogenous group of individuals who help me in my life.  Taking the "snakeskin" comment and thinking about snakes in the Bible, we could also think of them as representing the heterogenous challenges.  In either case, there is a pattern.  Part of my way of dealing things is finding the patterns and using them as a way to represent the challenges and good aspects of life for my own purposes in sorting things out.

All this from a two hour project with a silk tie and a bunch of Sharpies.  Who knows what this year will bring in creativity and blogging with this type of start.  

Willful Choice

At mass at 9:30 at St Pius X in Towson today, we got to hear a homily from Fr. Ray Chase--once he got his microphone turned on for the homily.  Fr. Ray always gives nice concise homilies.  Today we were talking about things related to the celebration of the birth of John the Baptist.  One thing he shared with the congregation was what he called the most frustrating part of being a priest.  I'll paraphrase: that no matter how much he prayed with us, consecrated the Eucharist before us, or preached homilies to us, he couldn't make us do anything.  No matter how much he knows what might be right from the point of view of following the path of what God would want, it is ultimately up to each one of us to take a willful action to make things happen.

I can see where this would be frustrating.  We are often called upon to ask "What would Jesus do?"  Well, I believe that most clergy (I won't say all given the continuing news about some small fraction of clergy in the Catholic Church) have a better idea of what Jesus would do than the rest of us.  They want to offer what they know.  They have spent a long time thinking about things.  They want to help.

It is not so different from public health experts.  They know more about many things for our health than the average person.  They have spent a long time thinking about things.  They want to help.

So, I can relate to what he is saying when I think about it professionally.

I can also relate personally and I think that this is pushing me one step closer to changing the blog to "Connecting the Dots--Nourishing the Soul".  If we think about a "dot to dot" it may just seem like a random series of dots if you look at the dots before connecting them.  No matter how much you stare at it.  If I think back to string art I did as a child (dating myself there, perhaps...) I think of the pattern of nails in the board looking somewhat random before the string was wrapped to make it a coherent pattern.  A meaningful pattern.  A pretty pattern.

In both the case of the dot to dot and the string art--it takes a conscious and willful effort.  A choice.  A choice to make the effort rather than simply to stare and wonder.

My tattoo is similar.  As a few people in church who had not seen it before this morning asked me about it, I gave the medium to long answer.  My sixteen year old asked me how many times I had explained it.  The answer is--a lot.  But now I have a short answer--a modern reinterpretation of the art around St. Sebastian, the parton saint of athletes.  And I have a much longer answer that goes into detail about the symbolism.  If people want to hear (and I want to share) the deeper meaning that requires a conscious effort on two people's parts.

As I think about whether I would ever get another tattoo, I think "only if I find a story as compelling that I want to tell."  In other words, I don't see any small tattoos. If I am going to get any they will be big and bold like the first and tell a whole story.  About what?  Maybe my music or my cooking or my writing or my teaching.  There are many other themes.  I could work in other patron saints or my confirmation name.  Who knows?  The one thing I do know is that it will be a long thought out willful choice.

Willful choices guided by God have the potential to take me far in my life.  I try to live up to what I am taught by priests like Fr Ray.  It's not always easy.