Psalm 61 (2-5)

My bib number was 61 for the Lower Potomac River Marathon.  On my Facebook page the day I posted my bib number, a friend immediately mentioned Psalm 61.  Here are verses 2 through 5 from the New American Bible, Revised Edition:

"Hear my cry, O God,
listen to my prayer!
From the ends of the earth I call;
my heart grows faint.
Raise me up, set me on a rock,
for you are my refuge,

a tower of strength against the foe.
Let me dwell in your tent forever,
take refuge in the shelter of your wings."

First, it is interesting that this should come up now. My bib number for the 11K in Australia was 2161 and I had never blogged about it.  I had actually thought about the fact that the last two digits were the same when I got the bib number.  The 11K was not my best race ever for a variety of reasons, and I ran a 7:23 pace.  On Saturday night last week when I got my bib, I thought about how cool it would be to run the same pace.  I almost achieved that with a 7:25 pace on Sunday.  So, there was some connection that seems like more than pure randomness.

In any case, about the Psalm.  There are lots of times during a marathon when I might want to cry out.  Not like Jesus on the cross, "My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?"  Because the marathon--starting and continuing to the end--is my choice.  But, it still hurts.  And there are times when it feels very hard to get my stride.

Listen to my prayer--prayers of thanksgiving (that I can do it), prayers of praise (for God's goodness that I got to see in St. Mary's county), and prayers of intercession (for my health and the health of all my fellow runners).  And, as a Catholic, praying for St. Sebastian's intercession as a go between to God as well.  And looking up to St. Sebastian (and St. Irene's) examples of God's love and the use of God's gifts.

From the ends of the earth I will call--well, in a course that has four out and backs, I'm not sure I'd say I was going to the ends of the earth, but there are a lot of different places I called from.  And, thank goodness my heart did not grow faint, but it was stressed.

"Raise me up, set me on a rock,"--something I might ask for at the bottom of every rolling hill.

The remainder--God is always my refuge.  When I choose to run marathons, I remember that I am using God's gifts for me and as an example for others--from my kids to fellow runners.  God is a tower of strength. There is no foe in a marathon, but needing and using strength is, of course, a key.  When I think of taking refuge in the shelter of your wings, I picture clouds making it slightly overcast after a sunny start. That didn't happen on Saturday and there are many wages to take refuge in the shelter of God.  Taking refuge in God is critical after a run as I celebrate the gifts and give nothing but thanks and praise for all God has done for me.   

The Five Themes of My Tattoo in My Marathon

As I continue to ponder my marathon experience on Saturday, I have thought about how it captures the five themes of my tattoo--endurance, people helping people, timelessness, learning about running and spirituality where ont fields at home, and women of strength.

Endurance is what St Sebastian showed when he survived the attempted execution by archers.  Marathon running is not martyrdom.  Some may call marathon running a bit crazy, but it is not martyrdom.  I did show endurance in several ways.  Relatively consistent times for miles 1-16.  Never going above an 8 minute mile.  And coming through at the end to get my time to qualify to at least apply for Boston 2013.  All demonstrating my gifts from God.  God was pleased that I was running fast and celebrating the sabbath where the beauty of the world God created was quite evident.

People helping people--one of the friendliest marathons I've participated in.  Not everyone waived to or gave a word of encouragement to every other runner, but there was a lot of happy greetings and encouragement along the way--especially when passing or being passed in the last 6-8 miles.

Timelessness.  That is an interesting one to interpret.  Despite having my watch on and looking at it often, I felt like I had entered a timeless zone.  I really needed my watch to keep me from going too fast or too slowly.  Others around me were not running a constant pace.  Neither was I.  And when I say "around me" it was 100 yards (or more) ahead or behind in many cases.  That sense of just being in a state of having no idea how much time is passing captures the timelessness of the run--no matter how important my Boston qualifying time may have been to me.

Importance of home.  My "home turf" has a lot of rolling hills.  For the second half of the race, I ran a lot less consistent times than for the first half, but it made a bit difference to be used to rolling hills when I was able to run just under 1:36 for the first half and just under 1:38:30 for the second half.  Less than a year ago, I ran a 1:38:02 for a half marathon as my whole race.  Learning the physical aspects of what I consider my home turf and using my spirituality that I have gained in Baltimore to guide me through made a big difference.  One other thing--no longer do I think about my high school teammates or rivals when I run.  No disrespect to them and I do realize just how important that growing up experience was.  However, the reality of my running is now from my home in Baltimore.  And those are the runners I was thinking of--Rob, John, Joselyn, and Jaclyn first on the list.

Finally, women of strength.  First and foremost, my wife for coming along with me and driving on the way home.  No, being chauffeur was not her only role.  But having someone who could drive me the 2+ hours home so I could stretch and massage my muscles was wonderful.  Second, my coaches from Charm City Run over the past two years.  Two out of three--women of strength who guided, advised, and were usually out there running with us.  Thanks to Marie and Ericka.  Finally, my fellow runners.  Caroline--with whom I ran a lot last spring.  Jaclyn--part coach, part mentee in the academic life, part leader of a group that is about much more than just running.  Joselyn--fellow runner most of the 2011 marathon training season; fellow parent.  And those are just the women I have consistently run alongside.  There are other women runners who are also women of strength just for being out there.  Carrie, Sandy, and Lisa at the top of that list from CCR.  And the many women of strength from Back on My Feet.  Not that there are no fellow male runners who matter--Jerome at Christopher's Place, Paul, John, Rob, Kevin H, Christian, Dan, and the list goes on.

My marathon reflects the tattoo I will soon get in some ways I never could have imagined beforehand.

Did I Manage to Run for Joy?

Today I had my best marathon every--just under 1:36 for the first half and just under 1:38:30 for the second half.  My first and fourth fastest half marathon distances ever.  For a total of around 3:14:25 (still awaiting official results).

But the main question is did I run for joy?  I think so.  I ran the first half cruising along in my own little world.  I got a little worried for part of the second half but reached a point where, knowing that this was my last one for a while no matter what happened, I decided to just enjoy it.

So, I ran for joy.  The joy of finishing.  The joy of being out there.  The joy of passing, and encouraging others when they passed me.  The joy of using my gift from God on a beautiful Sunday morning in a part of the state that exemplifies the beauty of God's gifts.  I ran for joy.  Now a lot more running for joy is to come as I will just be running for joy and not for a goal for a while.  

More than One Positive Story

Yesterday, I posted about more than one type of team. Today, as I prepare for a marathon starting 24 hours and 30 minutes from now, I think about a comment I received shortly after a FB post yesterday. My FB post mentioned wanting to bring back a very positive story on Monday. A friend posted "U being positive is d story :-)" It suddenly occurred to me that while I am shooting for a personal best and a time that will allow me to register for the Boston marathon for 2013, there are many stories I could come away from tomorrow's race with that would be just as positive. A positive ending to three more monts of hard work. A positive ending to the many wonderful exchanges I have had with fellow runners on FB and other sties. A positive ending to the effort. A positive ending to all the runs with friends. A positive ending to all the sacrifices that I and my family have made for my running. I wouldn't even say that the personal best and BQ would be the most positive ending. While I once wrote that it life is about much more than the journey, it is all about results, now, I'm thinking that the journey has been pretty important. There will be life lessons learned during tomorrow's 26.2 miles that I'll take with me forever regardless of whether I end up being able to run Boston 2013 or not.

And with the attitude going in that I am just going to experience a marvelous gift from God, I think that I will be more at ease to just run for joy and run my best rather than being worried the whole time. I was tired when I got home at 12:30 AM after a very long day that included a very important meeting, a final defense, a dinner with potential students, a celebration with the student who had defended, an open mic night at which my oldest son played, getting the battery going on the drummer's car after the open mic night was over, and dropping of my son's girlfriend at about midnight. Perhaps sleeping well was just because I was so tired. But perhaps sleeping well was because for once, before a race, I am at ease rather than very worked up. And I will hopefully take the gift of being at ease into a second evening of good sleep and a great run tomorrow.