Feed My Sheep: More Reflections on John 21:17

So last night I began my post 10K run reflections with thoughts on John 21:17.   The chapter and verse that when written out together equal the time I had at the half way mark by my watch.  The verse I thought of while making crepes for scrippelle yesterday afternoon.   The verse that I have more to say about.

First, as I have mentioned in my blog before, Peter was my confirmation name.  So, who is Jesus speaking with in this verse?  Well, most directly, Peter.  I had chosen Peter in a sort of arrogant thought that I could be a rock.  That my belief and my spirituality were strong.  My belief has been tested.  My belief has been brought to the brink on more than one occasion.  There are times that I would say that my faith is not strong at all.  However, if I have only a small amount of belief and I can share that with others, then I may help to "feed God's sheep".  Feeding their need for spiritual reflection through my writing.  Feeding people's needs for sustenance through my family's donations.  Feeding a need for physical health through "service running" with Back on My Feet.  Perhaps this is an originally unseen part of the destiny of my confirmation name.  While I believe very much in free will, I also believe that God plays an active role in guiding us if we ask for it.  And that there are times when the answers come--but much, much later.  Perhaps this is all coincidence.  Perhaps there is no such thing as coincidence.

Second, the story has a part that precedes Jesus speaking directly to Peter.  John 21 in general is a story of the risen Jesus (great for Easter reflection) revealing himself to his disciples.  The first 8 verses of the chapter are the story of Peter and other disciples having bad luck fishing and then having much better fortune once Jesus arrives.  Verses 9-14 are about them eating breakfast with Jesus.  The fact that the verse of such importance to me (21:17) is preceded closely by a story of food can be taken two ways.  Obviously in the context of the flow of the Bible, Jesus then in verses 15-17 asks Peter to feed his lambs, tend his sheep, and feed his sheep.  The symbolism of having a meal together at which Jesus provided for his disciples before he asked Peter to feed his lambs and his sheep if not lost on me.  In my case, it is neat, too, because of the link to my own passion for cooking and feeding people.

Finally, getting back to what my friend from college wrote to me.  There are so many ways in which people hunger.  People hunger physically.  People hunger for challenges mentally.  People hunger through spiritual challenges.  People hunger for recognition and validation.  People hunger for a sense that they matter.

One thing I have always hungered for is recognition for something other than being good at academics.  A wise friend from my high school days once suggested I just be happy for being recognized for what I am really good at.  Good point.  This week, I was lucky enough to be quoted in Science Times Global Update in the New York Times.   But this week, I was also blessed to be recognized as a featured runner (as I mentioned yesterday) and as the team member of the month among the community volunteers for Back on My Feet Christopher's Place Team.  What's more, a student called me a pretty cool professor when I talked about the tattoo I'll be getting and my seven year old called me the best Dad.

Why do I need this validation?  Why can't it just be enough to know that I am following God's will, since that is what it is supposed to all be about?  Honestly, I don't know.  It is something with which I continue to grapple--and probably will forever.

I just hope that I can continue to live up to the accolades I receive.  Sometimes I think I do.  Not that that is anything special.  That is what we are all here for and what we are all supposed to do.  Being what I was intended to be and helping others is just following law set down by Jesus--love your neighbor as you love yourself.  So, I don't deserve a gold star for just playing by the rules.  And I also know there are times times I know I fall woefully short.  I'm not always the best dad.  I'm not always a great teammate.  My running attitude is not always exemplary.  And sometimes I am a lousy colleague and not such a great mentor.

I just hope that on net the positive outweighs the negative so that I can stand tall but with humility,  be of service to others who need me, and be obedient to God in whose image I was made.  I want to continue to focus my personal development on being all that God has intended for me rather than simply what I think I should be.  Or better yet--to make those last two one and the same.  

He Reigns yet He Serves

A joyous Easter to all who celebrate. And to those who celebrate Passover, I hope your observance of the defining moment of Judaism was a great experience for you. And to all of those celebrating anything else as I close my period of daily personal reflection during the spring of this year--may peace and serenity guide you.

Yesterday, I mentioned a part of the Holy Thursday mass in the Catholic church--a remembrance of Jesus washing his apostles' feet that I wanted to reflect on this day. Here is the text from the Gospel of John, Chapter 13, starting from about verse 3 and continuing through verse 15. This is long, but well worth the read:

So, during supper,
fully aware that the Father had put everything into his power
and that he had come from God and was returning to God,
he rose from supper and took off his outer garments.
He took a towel and tied it around his waist.
Then he poured water into a basin
and began to wash the disciples' feet
and dry them with the towel around his waist.
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him,
"Master, are you going to wash my feet?"
Jesus answered and said to him,
"What I am doing, you do not understand now,
but you will understand later."
Peter said to him, "You will never wash my feet."
Jesus answered him,
"Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me."
Simon Peter said to him,
"Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well."
Jesus said to him,
"Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed,
for he is clean all over;
so you are clean, but not all."
For he knew who would betray him;
for this reason, he said, "Not all of you are clean."
So when he had washed their feet
and put his garments back on and reclined at table again,
he said to them, "Do you realize what I have done for you?
You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so, for indeed I am.
If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another's feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you, you should also do."

In contrast with this, I believe that the closing song for the mass at which the worship band plays tomorrow is He Reigns.  We can sing He reigns because he conquered death.  He has given us the opportunity for new life, and His word is the greatest of all.

Yet, the model he set was that He served.  Just because a person has power doesn't mean that he should use that power to overwhelm all.  Instead, the power can (and should) be used to serve all and to make the world most like the Kingdom of God.  That is what power should be used for.  

Service can be big things--for example I may have another person ready to join Back on My Feet after running with this gentleman off and on for the past year and constantly extolling the virtues of the organization.  Making a commitment to a consistent service is a wonderful thing.

Service can involve teaching the word of God.  That is certainly what Sunday school teaching is all about.  That is another big commitment.

But those are commitments.  Once I am in being "all in" is fairly predictable.  I think that an even better example of service in my life occurred at the grocery store today when I was there for the third time.  (Yes, I ended up making four different trips to the grocery store today.  Two different stores two trips each.)  And, I think that a short reflection on what happened at the grocery store today is actually a wonderful way to end my Lenten and now Easter Sunday reflections for 2012.  

I was walking through the grocery store.  I had picked up three different twelve packs--one non-diet caffeinated soda, one diet, and seltzer water.  I had also picked up the deviled ham I needed to turn our extra hard boiled eggs (long story) into deviled eggs.  And I was headed for the last thing I needed--ice cream.  As I walked along, I saw a woman in a motorized wheel chair accidentally bump into a display and knock it over.  While I should not have hesitated to help her, I did.  But then, I thought to myself-what kind of follower of Jesus would I be if I didn't help her?  She had tried to situate herself to get the display to stand up again, but it was going to be difficult for her.   So, I offered to help, carefully turned the display on its side first to avoid having all the items (I don't even recall what it was but it was in a personal care aisle) fall out, stood it back up, and picked up the few price tags that had been knocked down.  She thanked me and we wished each other a happy holiday.  

Do I deserve a gold star--no, of course not.  It should be second nature.  But it is events like this--little unexpected and unplanned opportunities to serve others in need when I clearly have the power to help and the other person is clearly in need that define whether I am truly a follower of Jesus.  The routine is nice but is hardly a test of character.  The spontaneous will probably be a much bigger determinant of my eternal salvation.  The spontaneous is a much clearer definition of my character.  No time to think--just time to do, or not.  And if I do not, then it would be a sin of omission just as bad as any sin of commission that I might commit.  

So, I take forward with me one final message about being "all in".  To be "all in" when trying to follow the Almighty does not involve might but involves service--first and foremost--in big predictable ways and in little unexpected ways.  All in all the time.